1. Notes: 59002 / 3 months ago  from fullmetalexorcist (originally from kennyisit)

   Playing With Telemarketers

   I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.

   ME: Hello.

   AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.

   ME: Is this AT&T.

   AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

   ME: This is AT&T.

   AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

   ME: Is this AT&T.?

   AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?

   ME: May I ask who is calling?

   AT&T: This is AT&T.

   ME: OK, hold on.

   At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

   ME: Hello?

   AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?

   ME: May I ask who is calling, please?

   AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

   ME: This is AT&T?

   AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

   ME: The phone company.

   AT&T: Yes, sir.

   ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.

   AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

   ME: I already have a phone.

   AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

   ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

   AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

   ME: 7 days a week.?

   AT&T: That's right.

   ME: 365 days a year.?

   AT&T: Yes, sir.

   ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

   AT&T: We think so!

   ME: That's quite a sum of money!

   AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

   ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

   AT&T: Excuse me?

   ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

   AT&T: What are you talking about?

   ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

   AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

   ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

   AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for

   ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?

   AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

   ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

   AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

   At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

   SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?

   ME: Yeah.

   SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

   ME: Is This A T &T?

   SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.

   ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be Careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

   SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

   ME: Thank you.

   I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

   AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?

   ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family"

   thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...

   AT&T: click........

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